i'm looking for my birds of a feather

This blog may become more of a rant for a few weeks as I get settled into this college thing. I didn't bring a journal, and I need to vent for sanity purposes. This may seem a little whiny, so please, if you aren't in the mood, do yourself a favor and hang in there. :)

This whole college thing isn't really so great for me. I never, ever realized that I was so different as a teenager than now. Maybe it's the fact that I'm in ASU, but 99% of all of the girls I've met are polar opposites of me, and I don't really know where I fit in. I'm the good honors kid. A plus's are expected, and there's nothing really scandalous about me at all. It was a rude awakening my first night. I was bombarded with talk of hot upperclassmen, various drugs that I've never even heard of, and clubs that were either too "ghetto" or too "mainstream". This isn't the world that I wanted to get into. I feel like I'm making my roommates uncomfortable by just being myself. I don't like to socialize too much so there are awkward silences. I don't cuss like a sailor so they don't talk about things in front of me- How could I feel so left out by being myself?

I can't wait for classes to start, I keep praying that I'll find someone who feels the same. I'm so thankful for my friends who have been there for me for so long. I'm so glad they go to ASU too, it seems that some of us are in the same predicament. I just don't know what to do at times, I'm clearly not in my element and I'm trying to keep it all together but I'm scared it'll all tumble down in a split second. It's only the third day here and I feel like this, but I'm determined to keep going because if others can graduate, I know I can.

RANT ONE OVER. Here's a webcam picture of me because I think posts are naked without them...